Nov 8, 2007

Gratitude

So, a new week and a new day. Lots to be grateful for and lots to let go of. I often wonder the direction of things in my life and realize I cannot know, all I can know is right now. Where I am right now. And right now I'm going to use this space to express how grateful I am to everyone in my life who assists me in so many ways.

The memories of my youth have been surfacing a lot these days. Memories of how I wandered around for years feeling lost, alone, misunderstood, and how I didn't understand how I was taking up space here when there was no where I fit. I spent a lot of energy maintaining a place of anger, which now I can observe as at least if I was angry I was alive.

Taking that to where I am now I can feel all those things, how true and real it all felt to me, yet now I have the buffer of time, I've matured a little bit and I have built an incredible support system around me. Even when I touch those places again and feel the unmistakable pull of that under toe, and even in those moments of getting pulled in to the swirling spinning mess, I know all I really have to do is ask for help and it's there. All I have to do is be willing to ask.

And it's always there. My circle of friends, my teachers, are always there is some shape or form that I can draw on to remind me of the strength that I walk with in myself. And there is also that calm sweet voice of my own Spirit, urging me to be still and listen. And ever holding my hand saying,"I never left you."

So to everyone I offer my gratitude for the unending journey of love. I am loving you all.