What am I doing?

So here's a question...how come I can write for myself, I can write for hours in my journal but I sit here to come up with a new blog and I draw a complete blank?

I consider myself a writer, have even published a small book of poetry, and am getting myself out there freelancing and I KNOW in every cell of me, in the very core of me that I am a writer. It's all I think about, all I want to do, and yet when I sit to write something that I know will be out in the world for others to see practically instantly I freeze up. And I know that at this point no one's even reading this blog at all! I am writing this more for myself right now, and that's ok.

I get that there's power for me here, personal power. There are huge pieces of myself I will regain by doing this and the wanting of it is digging deeper into me all the time. I'll be out in the grocery store and be writing a story in my head as I'm pushing my basket around, get excited about the idea, yet I get home and sit down to write it and suddenly can't find it and don't know what to write.

So, here, I'm going to just give myself the space to type, write, get my fears out about the movement of this, even if it doesn't make sense to the outside eyes right now. It really is for me, about me, about my process, and I know it is all leading me somewhere....to myself.