If I Had A Million Dollars

I heard this Bare Naked Ladies song on the radio the other day and I got to wondering, if I had a million dollars what would I spend it on? After I paid bills and debts of course, what would I do with the money? Would it make my life better and what am I not allowing myself that I really want because I think I can't afford it? Are there places in my life where I'm holding myself back, things I think I can't do because of the cash? And are there things I would give up because I would then not have to worry about money? I decided to sit down and make a list, like a budget, and explore what $1,000,000 would cover.

It turned out to be a basic laundry list...pay off car, buy new one, pay off other debts including the ever present student loan, and do a few basic things that I can't quite make ok to spend on right now like join a gym and sign up for more writing classes. But through the process I realized some important things. I have let myself be defined by money for as long as I can remember. Defined by how much I had in cash, how much I had in the bank, if I was able to buy a house or a car or get a loan, or a million other things we do every day. I've even been to the place of not leaving the house on a day off because I couldn't afford to put the extra gas in the car. I've let it define my world, tell me who I am and who I'm not and keep me attached to what I don't want.

What I realized is that yes, paying off the car and other bills is important but it's more important to stop putting off what I want for a day when I know unequivocally I can do it. I don't want to be defined by what I think I don't have anymore. So, I'm making plans for a trip to the beach that I've so been longing to take and I'm signing up for that one day poetry workshop this weekend, taking a day to define myself through poetry...any maybe I'll keep my eyes open for the million dollars along the way.

Echoes Across The Blue Ridge

Echoes Across The Blue Ridge Stories, essays and poems by writers living in and inspired by the Southern Appalachian Mountains, published by Winding Path Publishing, is available for purchase at only $16.00. I am honored to be a part of this beautiful anthology. Books are available at ncwn.org and the following independent bookstores. Get your copy today!

City Lights Books, Sylva
Curiosity Books in Murphy, NC
Phillips and Lloyd Books in Hayesville, NC
Books Unlimited, Franklin, NC
Book Nook, Blairsville, GA
Blue Ridge Books, Waynesville, NC
Malaprop's bookstore in Asheville, NC
Twice Upon A Time in Murphy, NC
Highlands Books, Brevard, NC
Fountainhead Book Store, Hendersonville,NC

The big publication party will be held at
City Lights Book Store,

Sylva, North Carolina,

August 8, 2010, 5:00 pm.